Starting Anew

Off days are desired by many. Often, people wished that they did not have to work that much and they looked forward for their off days to come. Although we love getting off from work, I think not being employed is one of the most torturing moments in one’s life.
When I made a decision to not renew my work contract, my priority was to go back to Penang and to be by my parents. It was a noble act and thought but I neglected something very important when I made that decision. I forgot to prioritize myself, my own life. Being a dreamer, I saw many ideal possibilities and I held firm to those possibilities without putting reality and practicality into it. Everything was ideal but not realistic. And so, I left KL for Penang with nothing solid to hold on to. My 1st month passed easily, I left for a two month break in my second month. It was fun, I saw the world but deep inside, I felt empty and useless. I did not have high regards for myself, a twenty seven year old with no direction in life, no career, unemployed with a dwindling bank account. I saw myself as a good for nothing. Yet, I had not learned my lesson, I stuck on to my ideal thoughts without being realistic until I came back to Penang to face reality.
I have been unemployed for five months now and have recently been employed to work in a good environment. It feels wonderful to know that I’m no more a jobless person. My self esteem has increased. I remain as a dreamer with ideal thoughts but because I now have a job, dreaming is so much more easier, at least I have a source of income, I have something to do, something to contribute to society.
I have enjoyed too many off days this year, I look forward to experience the work load that lies ahead. I don’t deny that I’m scared to do what I have no experience in but I am determined to be the very best that I can be. Perhaps leaving KL was a right move after all? An opportunity to start anew, being someone which I never saw myself qualified to be.